Question

A boy my age touched my chest without asking. He didn’t pressure or coerce me, he just put his hands on me without consent. Does this count as assault when he didn’t force me, and we were 9?

Answer

Thank you for sharing this sensitive experience. What happened to you - having your chest touched without consent - is a form of inappropriate touching, even though you were both very young at the time.

It's important to understand that only you can decide how to label or define your own experiences. While I can provide information and context, the way you choose to view or describe what happened is entirely up to you. Your perspective is valid and may even change over time as you process the experience, which is completely normal.

At 9 years old, children are still learning about boundaries, consent, and appropriate behavior. The boy who touched you may not have fully understood the implications or seriousness of his actions. This doesn't excuse what happened, but it's important context when considering the situation.

However, it's crucial to distinguish between intent and impact. Even if the boy didn't intend to cause harm or distress, his actions could still have a significant impact on you. Your feelings about this experience, whatever they may be, are entirely valid.

If you do identify this experience as assault, that's completely valid. Trust your feelings and your understanding of the situation. No one else can tell you how to feel about what happened to you. If you feel violated or hurt by this experience, those feelings are real and important, regardless of the age of the person who touched you or their possible lack of understanding.

If you're feeling troubled by this experience, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult or a counselor. They can provide support and help you process your feelings about what happened. Remember, you have the right to set boundaries about your body, and it's always okay to tell someone not to touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable. Thank you for reaching out to us. You are not alone.