Understanding Trauma & Violence

Question

Since intoxicated people cannot consent, what is the situation if two intoxicated people willingly have intercourse with each other? Would that still not be okay?

Answer

Thank you for bringing up this sensitive and complex topic. When discussing consent and intoxication, it's crucial to recognize that everyone's experiences and reactions are unique and valid. For some, this topic may bring up difficult memories or emotions, and that's completely understandable. 

From a legal perspective, the landscape of consent and intoxication is complex and varies by jurisdiction. Generally, the law recognizes that heavily intoxicated individuals cannot give informed consent, a principle designed to protect vulnerable people. However, when both parties are intoxicated, the situation becomes more nuanced.

In many jurisdictions, the focus is on the level of incapacitation rather than mere intoxication. If a person is so intoxicated that they're incapable of understanding the nature of the act or unable to communicate unwillingness, they're considered legally incapable of giving consent. The challenge often lies in determining the level of intoxication and its impact on decision-making capacity.

It's important to acknowledge the reality that intoxicated people sometimes engage in sexual activities. This doesn't align with best practices for consent, but is a common occurrence. Given this reality, harm reduction strategies and education are vital. These include encouraging people to look out for each other in social situations involving substances, promoting sober conversations about boundaries, and encouraging safe practices.

From both an ethical and legal standpoint, it's advisable to avoid sexual activity when either party is significantly impaired. The safest approach is to engage only when all involved parties are sober and can clearly communicate. Remember, consent is an ongoing process that can be withdrawn at any time.

If you've had experiences related to this topic that are causing you distress, please know that your feelings are valid. Healing from such experiences is a personal journey, and there's no "right" way to feel or cope. Professional support, such as counseling or support groups, can be helpful in processing these experiences.

If you're concerned about a specific situation or need more detailed information, I encourage you to reach out to a professional who can provide guidance tailored to your circumstances and local laws. Remember, you deserve to feel safe, respected, and heard in all your interactions. Thank you for asking this complex question.

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