Not 100% sure if COCSA, still healing and navigating.
I am currently 21, turning 22 later this year. I’ve spent years trying to fully grasp this ever since I was 7 and have only spoken about this with a counsellor from my high school and two other people. I’ve constantly pondered whether it was a case of playing doctor gone wrong or COCSA along with these events having a big bearing on me, I’m in a far better headspace mentally but I still ponder this and still feel I haven’t fully healed so I’m just simply going to share my story from here. S...
Speak up and speak out about your experiences and you will be amazed at the outpouring of support you will receive. And above all, never give up.
please please please report it to the authorities, don't stay silent like I did and have to think about it
I think healing for me is just not having to think so much about everything and not feeling so angry and hurt. Not wanting an apology so badly but being able to know that Its not my fault but his and truly know that. To not wonder or be scared to see him again or if he's not suffering like I am. Not feeling so worthless because I never meant anything to him and that someone could do something so harmful to me so easily without a care in the world or without any sympathy or care for the the pain they caused me.
I just want you to know that even if you feel completely alone, please know that mother earth is here for you. Go on a little nature walk and you will feel her breath on your neck. She will send birds to sing in your ear and leaves to flutter onto your head. She is saying she loves you so much and knows you will one day be able to pick yourself up in your own time and be the strong person you have always been. Please take a deep breath of fresh air while sending loving thoughts to yourself and you will feel better. It is not your fault and I b...
You don't have to fight alone anymore. You can learn to do more than just survive.
I believe you. No matter what happened, I believe you. I often struggle with the belief that I didn't try hard enough to get away or that my experience wasn't "bad enough". No one else should have to experience these feelings. Your experience and emotional reactions to it are valid. You are valid and you will be okay. <3
Hang in there! As hard as it is! I pray for your healing and health and many smiles and happy days!
Like they say you are not alone!!
I believe we as survivors of sexual exploitation and abuse are the strongest of any people in the world!!!!!!
Just know that it was never your fault for what happens. You are strong and deserve to be happy in who you are.
Healing means get justice & making sure that what i faced no one else should face in that company in near future.
I believe you.
Recovery is possible.
We are here together.
You are not alone.
Healing would be a return to the person I was before I experienced the violation, Knowing how to avoid the violation again, being able to identify the violation.
Even now, when I try and make sense of what happened I am confused about if the sexual act was abusive.
Please don’t be afraid to stand up for your rights you did nothing wrong.
I thought several times I wouldn't be able to understand. I was taught it was inside me. I was taught I needed to change. Not the world. This is wrong. Don't bow down to what you find wrong just because of the negligence around. Remember how many brillant minds often have a suffering and secluded life. Give yourself the temple you wish to shelter inside. Don't listen or trust others. Trust your temple.
I was five years old when it happened. My abuser was also a five year old girl. I remember thinking that my story isn't valid because she's exactly the same as me. Over time, I did research and started to realize and recollect more and more about the memories of my abuse. If you get triggered or have triggers related to sexual assault/abuse, I advise not reading this next part.
I experienced coercive rape by my ex-boyfriend over the span of some months. After not only sexual but also emotional abuse I was able to leave the relationship two years ago. Since then it has been a confusing journey....it took me a long time to understand what happened and to acknowledge my trauma. Sometimes I still feel very confused. Adding to the confusion, a few days ago, I had sex for the first time after the abuse. I didn't know what to expect. I thought it might be fine and ill have a great time or it is horrible and I´ll finally hav...
It’s like— it’s harder after a lot of time has passed. I feel like I’m betraying myself to move on, like there’s some justice in being stuck on it forever. I feel like I’m letting a part of myself go if I allow myself to be happy again. It’s weird. I feel less allowed to be upset or depressed. Like I don’t have a right.
When I was 12/13 and my brother was 9ish, he started to grope me. At first it was just quick grabs of my breasts or ass. But he started to get more confident and began groping and squeezing for longer and longer periods of time and doing it more frequently. Eventually he started grabbing/cupping my vulva through my clothes. I was a bit bigger than him and could successfully fight him off, but I was not allowed to. My parents knew what was happening and he often did stuff like this in front of them. They ignored it and acted like it wasn't happ...
I think healing means being able to look back, acknowledging what happened, and being able to move on. There were times when I tried to convince myself that I made up my experience. I have since stopped trying to invalidate my assault and it’s leading me on a path towards forgiveness.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel - guaranteed.
Never give up.
Your victory story will help others. You have a purpose.
In my darkest days I wish someone told me this.
You are worthy.
It's not okay. Whatever happened to you, it's not okay. Forgiveness is for you, not them. Forgiveness is giving yourself permission to move on, not giving them permission to forget.
It's not okay.
It passes. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it passes. You will be safe, you will heal. It is going to be okay.
When I was 23, after having lost my father to cancer and moving into my first home as a single parent, I was "sexually assaulted" by my uncle who was now one of my neighbours. It was what was possibly deemed a harmless move by him, a drunken misunderstanding where he accidentally but forcefully stuck his tongue in my mouth while consoling me on my loss. The weight of him pressing me into the sofa of my new home. My new place of safety.
Things can get better. You will never fully forget what happened to you, but you will grow around your trauma. It will never disappear, but it doesn't have to have a happy life.
Healing to me would mean being able to feel positive emotions and not have to pretend like I am. Also, the ability to be alone with my thoughts without having any suicidal ideation would mean I was pretty well healed.
Rapists, pedophiles, anyone that does not respect the concept of consent are all low lives. They are the lowest and most evil people the world has to offer. You are so much better, so much pure, and so so strong. Don't let them win. We might have had to go to hell and back, but it doesn't mean we give up because we are resilience. And what we have the potential to become, because of our hardships faced, we will achieve because we are stronger than those cowards.