On this page are stories shared by survivors that highlight hope but can be discomforting. Before you proceed, would you like to do a grounding activity?
This happened when I was 22. I met this guy from college: good looking, charming, self confident, intelligent. He was super into literature and had even published a poetry book. Anyway, we dated a total of 2 months and during this time he raped me twice, sexually coerced me most of the times we were intimate, cheated on me and had behaviours I didn't quite understand at the time - now I believe he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Healing is learning, and believing, that you are not the things you've had done to you, and realizing that while you cannot control the actions of others, you can control your response to those actions. This allows you to start piecing your life back together, and you'll have days where you feel like you haven't made any progress at all, you'll slowly start to realize that things that once affected you deeply don't hurt as much anymore.
You are loved. You will be loved. There’s not a stronger person than you have been. I’m proud of you. You will get there.
I think I'm still trying to figure out how to accept what happened to me and that's okay. Healing isn't linear. Don't be too hard on yourself and surround yourself with people who truly, unconditionally love you.
When I was about 4 or 5 I underwent some sexual trauma at the hands of a family member. I carry a lot of shame with me. No one in my family knows about it. I'm 21 years old now and I just now started telling my very close friends about it. Here's what happened. I was staying with my aunt for the weekend and she left her son (my cousin) to watch me. He was 12 or 13 at the time. After my aunt had left he invited his friend over (someone who is till a friend of the family and who I have to see every once in a while). We were in an upstairs room a...
Healing is a hard one. Some days are easier than others. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz helped me overcome a lot of my PTSD. One of the best agreements is - Always do your best. Whether it’s just getting out of bed and brushing your hair or just drinking water and staying hydrated. Just make sure you’re always trying your beat on those hard days. The sun always comes back up :)
Now that I’m finishing this I’m realizing it is a more specific trauma oriented site, so sorry. Anywho, I believe in you, in all of you reading this (if there is anyone). You are strong, you are resilient, you are brilliant, you are courageous, and you are a whole human. <3
Anything you feel now is temporary. I know it feels like it will never end, but I promise it will.
Hey, I know you may not know me. But I am so proud of you. You are so fucking strong. Just remember whatever happened, does not define you, it never will. You choose what defines you. You. Are. Amazing.
Healing from trauma isn't a linear process and although it's hard at times, things absolutely do get better. It make take time and work, but the end result of a happy, comfortable, validated life is worth it.
Eveything I do shows and increases my strength, having such a horrible experience has made me want to fill my life with extraordinary ones even more because they are now more than ever a pillar of resilience. I have went on to finish university, travel the world and have meaningful jobs that aim to change things in the world for better.
healing is hard. It is tough and it will not happen overnight. keep reminding yourself that you are worthy, beautiful, strong, and you deserve to be heard.
The first time I was sexually assaulted was when I was 14. My neighbor at the time used to come throwing rocks at my window in the middle of the night until I would sneak out & do whatever it was he wanted to do. I never wanted to, I always wanted to stay in bed. But he had shown me his guns many times, & knowing his past, & the threats he had said to me before, I just continued to show up. Eventually he went to jail for something unrelated. Once out, he moved. I have no idea where he lives, but he knows where I live. It keeps me up at night t...
My father sexually assaulted me multiple times when I was very young. After I grew a bit older, probably around 5-6, he stopped directly assaulting me (penetration) but the abuse continued.
I wasn’t allowed to shower by myself until I was 12. He would ALWAYS shower with me and masturbate while I stood there.
It gets better. There are days that I can't believe what I have achieved (even the little things, like hugging my friends and having a relationship) and there are days that I don't even have flashbacks. At the same time, some days I get anxious and don't want to be touched, in others I want to be held and told that it wasn't my fault.
You are still worthy of love and good things. You did not deserve this hard and painful experience. I cannot emphasize this enough: this experience does not define you as a human being. Don't be afraid to say "me too" to someone who needs to hear it.
Healing is not one size fits all. Trauma is not one size fits all. Everyone is different.
3 guys have taken advantage of me in the past 12 years and I want to tell people about it. Unfortunately the only way I can is online because I can't tell my parents even though I'm 24 now and I can't afford therapy. So hello internet, here's my story (shortened as much as possible).
The first time I was asked for nudes I was 8. The person who asked for them claimed to be 10, I believed him but looking back, he was probably lying. There were multiple times, times that I sent them, times that I didn't. Sometimes I wanted to send them, sometimes they were threatened out of me. I was too young to understand that some lied about being my age, others just outright told me they were older. I didn't understand that the ones that threatened me, couldn't actually act on the threats. I feel so dumb. I don't feel like I can call it a...
Find the reasons to love life again. They can be small and hard to pick out, but they're there. I promise.
As I grow older, I have realized sharing my stories has made me more connected to the people I love and I have felt a burden taking off myself. Those experience are so much to carry alone. There is so much healing in telling your story, getting the support and help you need.
I was taken advantage of by someone who I thought was my friend. It was my first time getting drunk.
What Happened After I Was Sexually Assaulted:
-stress hives that lasted for two weeks after the assault
-vomiting in the middle of the night for several nights
It was the guy i was dating at the time, and we were just hanging out at his house like any normal day. He’d push me into sex all the time, and i’m realizing months later i have a lot of trauma from this relationship, but this particular instance has been rattling in my head a lot lately. He started forcing himself on to me, despite that i was saying “stop” “what are you doing” he wouldn’t stop. I specifically remember the look on his face. I’ve never seen someone be able to look evil like that. evil is not a word i use, but it’s exactly how t...
My story started back when I was 16/17 years old. I was working in a restaurant, and had a crush on my older boss. When I say older, I mean 35. I thought I was all grown up even though I was just a baby, and he had no problem taking advantage. What happened to me over the course of approximately a year and a half haunts and horrified me. It all culminated in me attempting suicide right after I turned 18. Then I got help, and went away to college. This was supposed to be my fresh start. Sadly it did not turn out that way. I met a monster,
You did nothing wrong. This was not your fault. Just because you drink and like to party, does not mean that someone has the right to take anything from you.
Forgive your assailant, but most of all forgive yourself.
Keep improving on yourself even when it's hard or looks hopeless. Keep doing what you know is right. Work on yourself. I believe in you. It takes commitment but you got this. It can mean changing how you talk to yourself, or eating healthier or mediating. Try new changes one at a time. Focus on yourself and what you need
Please talk about it, seek help and distract your thoughts when something triggers you.
I got drugged on a festival and ultimately it ended up with me performing sex with a stranger without me even being conscious. I went to the festival with three of my friends. One was already asleep when a drunk guy came to our tents. He was searching for his friend, he said but then he asked if he could stay with us a bit. He was kinda funny and pretty drunk so we thought as a group that it would be okay to give him some water and let him be with us a bit. After some time my remaining awake friends said they wanted to shower and left me alone...
To me it happened about 7 years ago, I was going to sleep over at a friend and I never realized his true intentions till it was too late. I wasn't sexually active myself at the time, and my abuser was maybe a few months older. I remember being there a few months earlier and he wanted to watch porn, I was young and naive and had never really seen porn. Thinking back, this was just one big flashing warning sign.
No matter how hard it gets, you are not alone. Do not think for a second that the world would be better off without you; that you'll never be able to heal. It takes time, and sometimes you never fully heal from your traumas, but it's worth it to take it step-by-step and work hard to regain what was taken from you.
I'm 18, and all this happened a year and a half ago, I was 16. It's a really weird and messed up story, I never heard a similar one. I was going home late afternoon and got literally attacked by a group of I think 3 or 4 people older than me, all male. I dont know which language they were speaking. I really really tried to kick them and scream and resist but there was nothing I could do. I dont know how long it lasted, I was scared what they would do when they're done, if they would kill me or let me run away. They let me go when they we...
Listen to red flags. They are they to guide and protect you. Keep your sense of self at number one on your priority list. Someone who loves you will not treat you in a way that they know hurts you. I promise someone that loves you will not intentionally hurt, lie, deceive, manipulate, abuse or steal from you. There is nothing you can do to change those people. We will destroy ourselves trying to change those hurting us. YOU have to take priority in your life.
It will be hard. Talking about it at first is really difficult. I learned, though, that I had no reason to be ashamed for him laying claim to my body. You should not be ashamed for someone taking advantage of you, regardless of sobriety, relationship, past discussions... none of it. They are at fault, you are not.
Although I carry this weight on me, and I’m still struggling with my PTSD symptoms, I feel okay. I feel safe. I’m finishing school, I have my own place, and I’m raising 2 little boys. I am making progress in my healing process. I will not allow what they did to me to hold me down, I will achieve the things I want in life. I will keep moving forward. I will heal one day.
It was 21 years ago and I have never told anyone. I lived with my first roommate, who I knew had some questionable friends. Nevertheless, I trusted her and our new, cute, little home. Until one night she had friends over. I didn't drink and wasn't into hard drugs. We had food, everyone else was drinking and having a good time. I don't remember anything after that, until I woke up in the middle of the night with a man, one of her 'friends', on top of me. He was inside of me as I laid on the middle of the floor. I could not move, I could not spe...
Im still trying to heal through all of my issues, I stay isolated and quiet and find it hard to make friends sometimes.
my story started years ago as a lil boy my my older cousin always kept touching on me and laughed it off until he took me upstairs and told me how good it would feel to me. I later cried and told family in front of him he laughed and they laughed but at least it stopped . other cousins would tell what happened to me to there friends making it awkward to be around people. but with time people forgot. fast forward 3 or...
"The power of her story was second only to the power of her choosing to share that story with me. Since that day I have tried to make good on that trust and make her feel safe and enrich her life, however I am able. It does not come close to the insight she has given me"
Around five years ago, I was raped repeatedly by a man I was seeing. It was the kind of rape that some people don’t consider rape - other than the act itself, there was no additional physical violence. There were no threats. There was just the constant knowledge that he would not listen when I said no, that he would not care or stop when I told him it hurt or that I didn’t feel safe. He always kept going. Every time I went over to his house, I knew that it was about to happen again. I kept going over, at least for a little while. Eventua...
"She thinks he assaulted her." That's what my best friend in high school said to another friend of ours when I told her how my date went the Saturday before. He was a star football player on our high school team and I didn't "talk" to a lot of guys. We were never official after a month of talking because of that night. He came over to my house to eat dinner with my parents we had hamburgers and then cheesecake. I remember what I was wearing. That's kind of how I started to realize that what happened wasn't right, I remember so much. We started...
Healing is different for everyone, but for me it's listening to myself. For so long I had been manipulated and felt I had to tune out my own wants and needs for the benefit of someone else. Healing for me has been taking time and listening to myself and doing things for me, regardless of how others may judge me for it. I make sure to take some times out of each week to put me first and practice self care.
Healing is complicated. I think it starts by surrounding yourself with people who know what happened and who will validate and defend you against the shitty, victim-blaming messages that are everywhere in today's environment. Some days can be great and some days can be terrible. Healing means that I keep going and get better at coping with the bad memories and bad feelings. Healing to me means that all these things that happened don't have to define me. Healing ultimately means being able to remain thankful and grateful for all the wonderful p...
Healing means being patient with myself. I used to cover up the emotional shit with making myself so busy that I didn't have time to sit still with myself. Now I've learned to take it easy. The world will keep spinning even if I'm at home drinking tea and watching Netflix. I'm learning to pace myself and to take days off. Schedule me time and really truly practice loving myself. For me that means prioritizing therapy and not stressing out about college like I used to. It means saying no to things that I feel like I "should" be doing and saying...
Healing to me means forgiving myself for all the things that I may have gotten wrong in the moment. Finding gentleness and realizing that I am not damaged despite feeling overwhelmed by seemingly mundane moments in my day-to-day life. Treating myself with kindness when setbacks occur. Loving the woman I am becoming, despite carrying this with me. I am still me. I am.
You are doing the very best you can. And today that is more than enough.
It is still difficult for me to look back on my story and not feel that shame and embarrassment that I linked with the events time and time again. Difficult, but not impossible. My story is not one isolated incident, it is three stories piled into one. Some would say “I did not learn my lesson the first time”. Despite those people, I will share the entirety of my story. Gory details and all. For the first time today. And as painful, as challenging, as inevitability “embarrassing” as the past may be, it needs to be told. I have come to believe...
I remember waking up that October morning and having no idea whose living room I was in. But I wasn’t panicked, just confused. Things like this, sad to say, have happened to me in the past. Go to a party, get too drunk, and brown out most of the night and wake up in an unfamiliar place. But usually I was around other friends. But this was different. I sat up on the couch and feverishly began looking for my phone for some sort of glimmer of hope that I had not been so irresponsible to have lost my phone, on top of my dignity. There, already bla...
“We were in a relationship so it couldn’t have been rape…right?” Wrong. Unfortunately, when the event of rape involves your partner it is often invalidated. It is a trauma that tends to get looked over because it doesn’t seem as serious. It doesn’t seem as brutal as those scenarios that make mainstream media. So I am speaking up to say that, it is very much real and it very much leaves the victim at a sense of loss and guilt. Questioning what possibly happened. Because he loves you and you love him. But this was not love. I know the feeling al...