Hello this is a brief summary. In summer 2017 I accepted a paid intern position and traveled to LA. I was raped by someone I casually dated. It wasn’t violent, it was quiet and I just wanted to get it over with. I took a Plan B an hour after. The next week a man and I fell deeply in love with each other and quickly became official. Then on week 6 I found out I was pregnant, and I knew it wasn’t my boyfriend’s. I secretly had an abortion without telling anyone. Then I kept getting sicker. Later I found out the abortion didn’t work and I was 14...
I am new here on this website, but I am not new to being an incest survivor. Over 35 years ago, in the 1960’s, 70’s and 80’s, I was the little girl victim of [entire childhood long] long-term father-upon-daughter incest with a non-supportive, disbelieving mother. It was a long time ago, so I am not in “danger” any longer from my abuser. But the injuries still hurt now and then and the scars are still healing. My mind is still recovering from the insanity that threatened to settle over me stemming from being raised up in that crazymaking, “g...
I am a looked after child. Well, that is what most people know me for. Being looked after is not this lucky life where you have two families, it is a life that no one wishes for. When I was little, I thought it was a good thing, something to be thankful for. I am thankful but not in all aspects. I hate being known as a looked after child and I have my reasons.
My sexual assaults story is uncommon for most and hard to most people to grasp. Who would believe that children are capable of knowing and doing such gruesome things to person? Most children are not like this and their experiences are different. It first happened when I was 8 years old while, my abuser was 7 years old at the time. I remember the abuse happening gradually as we build our friendship. It first started with us doing typical kid stuff like us playing together and joking around. And one day, he asked me to play this new game with hi...
Two years later I have loving, gentle, intimate and respectful sex with the people I chose to do so with. I feel safer every day.
Just know that better days are ahead and that what happened to you does not define who you are.
I will say each day is both a blessing, and a challenge. My healing journey is not linear, but trust me, it does get better; I believe you, and I love you. We are all in this together.
Healing means feeling free to express the love and light in your heart. It means not being ashamed to experience positive emotion like joy, love, and excitement.
If you’ve been groomed, or are being groomed, please don’t be afraid to cut all contact with them if you can. I know firsthand how terrifying it is, but I promise you you will never do anything better for yourself.
Whether or not you want to go to the police is absolutely up to you. Please don’t feel pressured as if you have to go, or you shouldn’t go. Your mental health comes first.
I don't know what healing really is, I've never known a life without abuse or mental illness. For me, I guess, healing would mean the chance at having a normal life. I don't think that is possible though.
TW: physical, emotional, sexual abuse
Ever since I started primary school at the age of 4, I’ve been afraid of my dad. I truly believed I was the worst daughter in the world and that I was a huge disappointment to my parents. My Ukrainian immigrant parents were well educated and well respected people, they were quite wealthy and interesting people who had a “perfect” daughter. No one knew what happened behind closed doors, of course, and no one suspected anything as I was taught to hide my feelings and physical signs of abuse (still hate thin...
Growing and embracing the past as something that changed you and made you
There are good people in this world. Yes there are those who will victim blame and side with tour abuser. But there are those who will also stick up for your name when you aren’t around. Don’t let the bad people in this world stop you from seeing all the good.
My message of hope is to speak out. Also, realize it’s normal to blame yourself and to think you still love who ever hurt you. Do not feel shame and if you can’t forgive the person yet, do not feel bad. Pray about it and don’t let your perpetrator steal your happiness. Smile and move forward.
To all survivors out there....healing is possible. I am lucky enough to bear witness to it everyday. If you are feeling hopeless, know that you do not need to go through this alone. If someone does not support you in the way you deserve, don't give up. You are worth so much more than what you've experienced. Be gentle with yourself and thank you for being you.
It's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault.
We are so quick to excuse, justify, and forgive the actions of others, so why not give yourself the same grace.
It happened years ago. I was 10. He was 13. He told me it would be our secret game. He said that if I told anyone he would say it was my idea and I would be the one to get into trouble. I never told anyone and I did my best to pretend it never happened. I repressed it for years and always thought it would be a secret I took to my grave.
Healing means to me, being proud and at peace with who I am as a lesbian and a woman. It is so important for everyone to feel like their stories and feelings are heard, no cast-aside or taken advantage of.
Hey, I'm survivor. I'm 18 and I live in India. I went through child sexual abuse from when I was 10 to 17. The abuser is a very close family member (not my parents), and when he first assaulted me, I had no idea that he was doing something wrong, considering I was only 10. I later realised it when I was 12, and tried to stop and avoid him which worked most of the time but not all the time. The problem is only 2 of my close friends know about this. I can't tell my parents because I'm afraid they'll never see me the same again, I'm to embarr...
When I turned 24, my life began to change. I started having severe bouts of sadness that seemed to come out of nowhere. They would leave me feeling low and upset. I was confused, asking myself, “What was going on? Why was this happening?”.
As time passed, these episodes started lasting hours, and they came coupled with memories from my past. They were memories of when I was a young 8-year-old boy. I was in disbelief that this was happening after all of this time. Why now?! I had come so far since the abuse. I had a good job, great friends, and...
Nobody will know me where I move but the people I have picked. Your life will be stable again, you will breathe again, and there is always a fresh start out there in the world.
It's been almost a year and I'm still messed up, I keep asking why she did it and what did she gain from it because, I gained nothing from it at all, I've lost a lot of confidence from it and feel quite weird now, I guess healing would mean shredding this weird feeling that stays on my back all the time now.
No longer feeling ashamed of my experience. Accepting that it occurred but that whatever happened the experience was real and I did not lead him on. My short skirt, the alcohol, and the clothes I was wearing did not cause my rapist's wrongdoing. Healing means having self-compassion for myself. Stigma and memories may affect me but through self-love and self-care I can move forward. Therapy has helped me find strategies and coping mechanisms to be compassionate and no longer feel shame, guilt, and panic.
Healing takes time. Healing from rape will never end. You are in a constant state of recovery. Each day you will learn something new about yourself related to your trauma whether it’s a trigger, milestone, passion, or strength. Some days will be better than others, especially right after it happens. Everyone heals differently whether it is through individual therapy, group therapy, individual healing, or just being around supportive friends and family. Do whatever YOU need. There may not be anyone close to you who completely understands what y...
Please, do what you ever you can. I promise it will get better, you learn to cope. Contact other survivors and we shall share our stories.
Everyday when you open your eyes, tell yourself that you are the most powerful soul, you are brave, you are beautiful, you are good enough, you are worthy❤️ Be grateful for all the trauma you have been through, you have been shape and you will shine like diamond someday. Just believe in yourself, love and treat yourself like someone you love.
Healing means not denying what happened to you but accepting it as part of your story and how you can grow and become stronger from it, not frozen by it.
You are not alone. You will never be alone. You have so much fight in you and i know it sucks to feel like you have to keep fighting all the time but I also know you need to see what the world has for you. It will be alright. I believe in your journey the way other people believed in mine.
speak up don't be afraid people are there to support you no matter what your going through and no matter what you've been through
With therapy and time and patience, you will overcome this. Just being here today, despite what has happened to you, proves you are so incredibly strong. you can keep going even if you take it day by day, hour by hour.
I believe healing happens when I start to slowly forgive myself for what had happened. I only want to educate those who I love about these things.
Do not let your emotions at the current moment cloud your judgement of the future, it will get better I promise, you will not feel like this forever.
I am not sure what being healed means. I don't know if I am supposed to forget of forgive, because I don't think I can forget but I can and will forgive. I think healing is doing what makes you feel better, and getting up trying to be okay, going to bed trying not to think about it, and one day we won't have to try anymore. I believe healing is helping, is making others feel support and love. When I help others, I see the pain from outside, and I helps me understand my own, it helps me heal. We are amazing people that won't give up on the beau...
Do not continue to bottle up your feelings. Find someone to talk to. You are never alone and someone is always there to help even when you feel hopeless.
This experience put me through a lot, but also made me see how f***ed up our society is and how we live in a rape culture. It made me an activist. But not only that, I'm on my way to becoming a sex educator and I'm hoping to help other people to prevent this from happening again and again.
Last week, I went out with 2 friends in Paris, they told me not to bring that one guy, at some point I ask them why, one of the two told me that 2 months ago during a party, he make her drink to have sex with her, she woke up with him on top of her. The other one told me that apparently he did that to other women too, he make girls drink till they don't say no anymore.
I was a teenager. I was abused by a cousin. I doubted my experience for decades, largely because military trauma buried so much of my life before that time. In talking to my sibling, I discovered they too had been abused, raped repeatedly by this same cousin a few years earlier. It damaged both of us.
Hope stands for Hold On, Pain Ends. You don't have to suffer in silence. You don't have to fight the ghosts of your past alone. You don't have to allow your history to assassinate your future. You can heal. If I can heal, anyone can heal. My story is full of self-destruction, pain, addiction, and unresolved trauma, but it is also full of healing, forgiveness, self-love, and a perpetual revelation of self-worth. We should always allow hope to rise to the top. I believe that at the root of our soul hope is alive, begging to be released an...
Right now you are in a dark cloud. But through the support, understanding and care of others, we can get through it together.
Healing is allowing the pain transform you into and better, stronger individual and accepting that you are not your circumstances only YOU can define you.
What helps me, is To think about the sun and just how powerful that energy body and force is. Sometimes In life, you are feeling a bit cruddy and difficult, its a bit like rainy cloudy weather. But how you approach it is knowing that as a fact, the sun Will Come out again eventually. Its a bit like the hardships In life, sometimes its not as visible, but all the greatness of the sun, things like, love, hope, compassion, forgiveness are still there. Hope is always there.
If you're here, it means we both went through something we shouldn't have. We didn't deserve it in the slightest, even if you were told you did.
I see you, I hear you, and I'm proud of you.
You're strong because you're here. Because admitting that happened to you takes strength. You're stronger than they will ever be.
When I was triggered during the Kavanaugh trials, I could no longer hold onto my secret/shame. 34 years after my multiple-offender Rape, I finally reported. Little did I know, that also meant telling my parents, my husband of 17years and friends and family. While most difficult for my parents, we are closer than ever. They both said it was their moment of clarity. Humiliated at how I couldn’t remember my perpetrators names, I set out on a mission to find them. While it felt like a hollow victory, I realized that by not giving up, I found what...
I don't know what to call it, so I just act like it was no big deal. For whatever reason, I didn't really recognize what happened or remember it until a couple months back. I was on the school bus with a guy I liked, and we had talked about dating once he was allowed to. I had almost fallen asleep leaning against him and was just drifting in and out when I realized he had his hands on my thighs, which I kinda felt panicked about but figured I was overreacting. He then slid my shorts much further up my leg and kind of just felt up my thighs (un...
Healing means understanding you and your life will never be what it was before the event, that it’s something you learn to live with but the number of happy memories you have and continue to create will get bigger.
They were a doctor, I was their patient. I consented to the ‘examination’, but not in full knowledge of what it would entail. It was a degrading and humiliating experience being ‘examined’...I didn’t know how these things should go, but knew it shouldn’t have been like that. It’s taken a toll, I carry a lot of shame and fear. I’m not even sure how to label the experience, but I’m trying to move forward.
This happened when I was 22. I met this guy from college: good looking, charming, self confident, intelligent. He was super into literature and had even published a poetry book. Anyway, we dated a total of 2 months and during this time he raped me twice, sexually coerced me most of the times we were intimate, cheated on me and had behaviours I didn't quite understand at the time - now I believe he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Healing is learning, and believing, that you are not the things you've had done to you, and realizing that while you cannot control the actions of others, you can control your response to those actions. This allows you to start piecing your life back together, and you'll have days where you feel like you haven't made any progress at all, you'll slowly start to realize that things that once affected you deeply don't hurt as much anymore.
You are loved. You will be loved. There’s not a stronger person than you have been. I’m proud of you. You will get there.
I think I'm still trying to figure out how to accept what happened to me and that's okay. Healing isn't linear. Don't be too hard on yourself and surround yourself with people who truly, unconditionally love you.
When I was about 4 or 5 I underwent some sexual trauma at the hands of a family member. I carry a lot of shame with me. No one in my family knows about it. I'm 21 years old now and I just now started telling my very close friends about it. Here's what happened. I was staying with my aunt for the weekend and she left her son (my cousin) to watch me. He was 12 or 13 at the time. After my aunt had left he invited his friend over (someone who is till a friend of the family and who I have to see every once in a while). We were in an upstairs room a...
Healing is a hard one. Some days are easier than others. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz helped me overcome a lot of my PTSD. One of the best agreements is - Always do your best. Whether it’s just getting out of bed and brushing your hair or just drinking water and staying hydrated. Just make sure you’re always trying your beat on those hard days. The sun always comes back up :)
Now that I’m finishing this I’m realizing it is a more specific trauma oriented site, so sorry. Anywho, I believe in you, in all of you reading this (if there is anyone). You are strong, you are resilient, you are brilliant, you are courageous, and you are a whole human. <3
Anything you feel now is temporary. I know it feels like it will never end, but I promise it will.
Hey, I know you may not know me. But I am so proud of you. You are so fucking strong. Just remember whatever happened, does not define you, it never will. You choose what defines you. You. Are. Amazing.
Healing from trauma isn't a linear process and although it's hard at times, things absolutely do get better. It make take time and work, but the end result of a happy, comfortable, validated life is worth it.
Eveything I do shows and increases my strength, having such a horrible experience has made me want to fill my life with extraordinary ones even more because they are now more than ever a pillar of resilience. I have went on to finish university, travel the world and have meaningful jobs that aim to change things in the world for better.
healing is hard. It is tough and it will not happen overnight. keep reminding yourself that you are worthy, beautiful, strong, and you deserve to be heard.
The first time I was sexually assaulted was when I was 14. My neighbor at the time used to come throwing rocks at my window in the middle of the night until I would sneak out & do whatever it was he wanted to do. I never wanted to, I always wanted to stay in bed. But he had shown me his guns many times, & knowing his past, & the threats he had said to me before, I just continued to show up. Eventually he went to jail for something unrelated. Once out, he moved. I have no idea where he lives, but he knows where I live. It keeps me up at night t...
My father sexually assaulted me multiple times when I was very young. After I grew a bit older, probably around 5-6, he stopped directly assaulting me (penetration) but the abuse continued.
I wasn’t allowed to shower by myself until I was 12. He would ALWAYS shower with me and masturbate while I stood there.
It gets better. There are days that I can't believe what I have achieved (even the little things, like hugging my friends and having a relationship) and there are days that I don't even have flashbacks. At the same time, some days I get anxious and don't want to be touched, in others I want to be held and told that it wasn't my fault.
You are still worthy of love and good things. You did not deserve this hard and painful experience. I cannot emphasize this enough: this experience does not define you as a human being. Don't be afraid to say "me too" to someone who needs to hear it.
Healing is not one size fits all. Trauma is not one size fits all. Everyone is different.
3 guys have taken advantage of me in the past 12 years and I want to tell people about it. Unfortunately the only way I can is online because I can't tell my parents even though I'm 24 now and I can't afford therapy. So hello internet, here's my story (shortened as much as possible).
The first time I was asked for nudes I was 8. The person who asked for them claimed to be 10, I believed him but looking back, he was probably lying. There were multiple times, times that I sent them, times that I didn't. Sometimes I wanted to send them, sometimes they were threatened out of me. I was too young to understand that some lied about being my age, others just outright told me they were older. I didn't understand that the ones that threatened me, couldn't actually act on the threats. I feel so dumb. I don't feel like I can call it a...
Find the reasons to love life again. They can be small and hard to pick out, but they're there. I promise.
As I grow older, I have realized sharing my stories has made me more connected to the people I love and I have felt a burden taking off myself. Those experience are so much to carry alone. There is so much healing in telling your story, getting the support and help you need.
I was taken advantage of by someone who I thought was my friend. It was my first time getting drunk.
What Happened After I Was Sexually Assaulted:
-stress hives that lasted for two weeks after the assault
-vomiting in the middle of the night for several nights
It was the guy i was dating at the time, and we were just hanging out at his house like any normal day. He’d push me into sex all the time, and i’m realizing months later i have a lot of trauma from this relationship, but this particular instance has been rattling in my head a lot lately. He started forcing himself on to me, despite that i was saying “stop” “what are you doing” he wouldn’t stop. I specifically remember the look on his face. I’ve never seen someone be able to look evil like that. evil is not a word i use, but it’s exactly how t...
My story started back when I was 16/17 years old. I was working in a restaurant, and had a crush on my older boss. When I say older, I mean 35. I thought I was all grown up even though I was just a baby, and he had no problem taking advantage. What happened to me over the course of approximately a year and a half haunts and horrified me. It all culminated in me attempting suicide right after I turned 18. Then I got help, and went away to college. This was supposed to be my fresh start. Sadly it did not turn out that way. I met a monster,
You did nothing wrong. This was not your fault. Just because you drink and like to party, does not mean that someone has the right to take anything from you.
Forgive your assailant, but most of all forgive yourself.