Healing means validation. And part of validation is accountability for those who caused the harm.
It is hard. I am only 20 and I wake up from nightmares of my abuser. It has taken me almost 6 years to be able to let a grown man give me a hug without flinching. But it does happen, and it does get easier. Living in fear is not the way to live your life. You also have to forgive. Staying angry at your abuser hurts you more than it will ever hurt them.
Healing for me is finding myself. And not letting guys take me for granted. I have learned to have respect for myself, and not let guys just use me for sex. It’s hard being young in this generation, because that all they want. Therapy, self-care, gym and family and my bff are the only things that are keeping me moving.
Time helps. It doesn’t make you feel less scared or have those flashbacks but it dulls the pain.
Healing is so many things... accepting what happened, sitting with how I feel, reading other's stories, telling trusted people what happened, writing, drawing, walking...
I was drunk. So drunk. He came over and saw how I could barely walk up the stairs and how I was slurring my words. I threw up in my bathroom and met him in my room, where I asked him to start hooking up. I will always regret that. I had one memory from that entire experience when our bodies were touching naked, and my hand was a buffer between our genitals. I never said no. I never asked to stop. I don't remember anything else. I also threw up afterward, and I only know so from a friend's recording. I didn't realize why I felt so dirty, guilty...
YOU CAN CONTROL WHO YOU ARE, YOUR LIFE, AND THE WAY YOUR FUTURE UNFOLDS. YOU CAN NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS OR DECISIONS. NO MATTER WHAT KEEP WORKING ON YOURSELF. MY PERSONAL MANTRA: RETRAIN.REBUILD.REVIVE
You are not alone. You are worthy. You will survive. You will heal. You will find your peace.
It is not your fault.
God got you out the situation and loves you. Don’t blame yourself for what happened or the action of others. Remember God and karma never sleeps. The people who have wronged you got their bad karma or will get it. You’re good karma is still going. You still deserve the best and can take back the power and energy that was taken from you. It’s okay to cry and let it out. It’s okay to tell someone it’s okay to keep it to yourself. It’s okay to act as if it never happened. It’s okay to forget about everything. Soon it won’t hurt like it used to ....
Finding happiness in yourself and your own family, knowing you did nothing wrong and you have nothing to be guilty of
Don’t blame yourself for things you couldn’t control. Don’t blame yourself for another harm against you. It wasn’t your fault. You are stronger then what they made you feel that day.
I (24,m) was sexual abused by my best friend at the time we were 10 years old.
I was in 3rd grade and had to repeat that grade, so i lost a lot of contact to my friends. I stayed in contact with one friend, the perpetrator, and our friendship grew a lot.
First of all, I'm so grateful for the good work you all do, and to be a part of the Me Too movement. Thank you so much!
I have found the healing work from sexual assault (s) is tricky stuff, very tricky. The Me Too movement has certainly made progress in many areas providing platforms for women to do both personal healing and social justice work. Sadly, all that doesn't simply undo what's been internalized as we grow up and even as grownups.
he wouldn’t listen to me when i told him i didn’t want to go to his room. i told him i was too drunk and i didn’t feel well, that i wanted to go back to my room. he took me with him anyway. he stuck his hand in my pants and i told him to stop. he did for a moment, then he tried again. i told him no again, and he did stop. we went to bed. i wish he had done more, because now i’m traumatized and having panic attacks but don’t feel like i should be, because he stopped. i feel even worse for wishing he hadn’t. because then my feelings would be val...
To be quite honest, I am not sure what healing means. I've not healed yet. I'm trying, but it is hard. I just keep waking up and trying to feel human again.
Time doesn't always heal all wounds. We are in it together and everyone is on their own journey of overcoming past traumas.
Remember you are not alone, someone out there understands you, you are loved. And most importantly it was not your fault.
If you are a childhood abuse survivor or abuse in general you can survive anything and everything you are strong, brave and worthy.
I was sexully encouraged by a babysitter when I was 9,too inappropriately bathe her and my sisters.
None of us felt it was abuse, but just bath time fun.
My sisters both bathed me to a point of inappropriate excitement.
Confused but not feeling anything wrong,we just carried on,I was going through puberty and I was orgasming every bath time.
It's not your fault that you couldn't remember. At that time, you were doing your best to protect you. It's not your fault that you couldn't scream then. We did our best and we are still doing our best. We will be able to regain the happy image we saw in our dreams. In fact, we are beautiful and brave enough even now! I will be your witness to your beautiful challenge.
To whoever who may have experienced something like this. You are not alone .We are damaged ,maybe even broken but we can survive and we can heal. THAT person shall not have the right to take away your happiness and future or at least your chance to heal .
I am a trans guy and i was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by my older sister. i don't know when the cocsa first started or when it ended, but it lasted for years. It happened so many times.
Sometimes I would be a willing participant in the 'games'. Other times i was uncomfortable, other times downright terrified and forced.
I was six years old and I was friends with this girl who was also six. She was over at my house and we were sitting on the bed. I remember her asking me to play family and that I was the dad and she was the mom. She told me that I had to take all my clothes off because i was the 'dad' and she undressed from below the waist. After I did she just pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. I just remember that she was sort of rubbing against me and I was so uncomfortable and I just wanted her to stop, but I was scared that we wouldn't be fr...
This is a horrible journey for any person to go through. We all will heal on our own time, in our own terms, through our own processes. It is a hard journey to travel through but try to find a community around you that can help you through all of this. People who will pick you up, people who will not let you fall, people who will hold your hand and continue to check in and make sure that what is happening is safe for you to go through. If I did not have my friends throughout this journey, it would be a harder process for me. Find your family (...
Why did you have to be so good at manipulating me. You flirted with me in class, you complimented my outfits when I thought no one cared. You told me you wanted to treat me right, and I'm the fool for beliving you? You told me we should go to the bar, so we did. I felt alive, I felt happy and you just wanted me to keep drinking so I did. You took me back to your place and honestly I don't even remember anything. I woke up and, I've got to give you credit, you were smart to say we had sex right away. It blindsighted me, I liked you so much I di...
To the multiple guys who have fucked me while I've been incredibly intoxicated and you've been sober; to the guys who go "just the tip" and keep pushing and pushing; to the guy, who after I said I didn't want to go another round, pushed me onto the bed and said it wasn't up to me anymore; to the guy who kept going when I was saying stop, who held a pillow over my face to hide my tears, who afterwards, looked me in the eyes and asked why I kept saying stop. All these men have made me feel like a stranger in my own body. I look in the mirror and...
I said this in my first part of the post but I knew nothing except what had happened to me. I was not equipped with information or understanding. I did not even know that there were more forms of rape then just with a penis, and women can rape men!
Education has become the number one way I have been able to faciliate healing. By learning for myself, (as there was no real pathway or help available) the ways I could help myself and the different forms of trauma. I did a lot of self analysis, got therapy and followed a pathway noone else shared...
This is a hard but honest one... I thought I would never enjoy sex again. But I have met a man that has shown me with trust this is no longer the case.
raped and sexually exploited in a cult, by a bishop.
After 10 years, while he had also occasionally sexually agressed other women, the organization received an official complaint by the daughter of a high ranking member, (so she was believed and acknolwdged - not like others before her)
Tell someone. Find someone you trust. It gets better it really does. It does take time. It took about 4 years for me to feel like me again and to be able to feel like a heavy burden was lifted off my chest, but it does get better!! I also feel therapy helped me leave my abuser!!
Never let someone else define your story. Don't back down from your truth. People fear what they don't understand or fathom and someone that hasn't been in your shoes isn't going to truly know where you've been until they've lived it. It's hard to offer advice but my one message of hope is that this does get better and the sun does shine on us again. You're not alone.
I was four years old. I was lead into the woods by him. I still remember it was fall. The leaves crunched beneath my feet as we walked. The woods seemed to hush themselves to silence as we stopped by an old rusted out car. I was four years old. He told me to put his penis in my mouth. I was four years old. I trusted him. I still remember the taste.
the story the actually got me to write mine put something here. her words changed me, gave me hope. so simple yet exactly what I needed to here. “healing means becoming a survivor. you are a victim until you decide to become a survivor and than you can heal”. if you’re reading this and you like me, dislike being called a survivor and feel like you’ll never give yourself that title. just remember we are in stage one and someday, maybe months, maybe years, we’d be able to become survivors and heal.
I have been married for 14 years. Within this last year I have come to realize that my marriage is not "normal". I was told early on, by my husband, that he was a narcissist. I quickly dismissed him and said he was nothing like that. Now... Idk. He is very controlling, but we have no sex life. I have to ask to be intimate and 99% of the time the answer is no. This is the confusing to me. I thought narcissist liked sex. As soon as we were married the sex stopped. I know I am in an unhealthy relationship, but I am just now realizing this. For 14...
Never give up having hope. Create and make happy memories every single day with those you love and trust. They are innocent and such a bigger part of your life.
I work really hard to crowd my mind, memories to snuff out that time in my young life. 51 yrs ago and I still try to work hard everyday.