Question

I have to insert something inside myself regularly for medical reasons. I really do not want to do it, but my mom is pressuring me to continue to go through with it. I don't know how to explain to her why I hate it so much. I do have some bad experiences with sexual assault but, I don't know if it's related. How can I convince her to not make me do it?

Answer

Thank you for reaching out to us. I can understand your distress and discomfort around having to insert something inside yourself for medical reasons, especially given your history of sexual assault. Your reluctance surrounding this procedure is completely understandable and valid. Whether this is as a result of your trauma history or not,  you deserve to feel safe and secure. 

It's important to remember that your body belongs to you, and you have the right to make decisions about your medical care, especially when it comes to invasive procedures that may trigger traumatic memories or sensations. Even if the procedure is medically necessary, your emotional well-being and sense of safety should be prioritized.

It can be difficult for others, even well-intentioned loved ones like your mother, to fully grasp the impact of sexual trauma on one's relationship with their body and medical experiences. If you have not yet shared your sexual assault history with your mother, it's possible she is unaware of the connection between your past trauma and your current distress around this procedure.

If you feel safe and comfortable doing so, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with your mother about your feelings and experiences. You could say something like, "Mom, I know you want what's best for my health, but there's something important I need to share with you. I have experienced sexual assault in the past, and this procedure is bringing up a lot of difficult emotions related to that trauma. It feels very triggering and violating to me. I need you to understand and respect how hard this is for me."

If you're not ready to disclose your assault history to your mother, that's okay too. You can still advocate for your needs by expressing your discomfort and asking for support by saying something like: "Mom, I'm really struggling with the idea of this procedure. It's causing me a lot of anxiety and emotional distress. I need your help to find a way to make this feel safer and more manageable for me."

If you do not feel comfortable sharing your history with your mother, you might consider sharing it with your doctor. They may be able to offer alternative methods or other accommodations to make the experience less distressing for you. If you do change your mind and want to go through with the procedure, you might also consider working with a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma to develop coping strategies for managing triggering sensations and memories during medical procedures. 

Remember, your emotional needs are just as important as your physical health. You have the right to have your concerns heard and addressed. If your mother or doctor are not respecting your feelings or working with you to find a manageable solution, it may be necessary to involve a trusted advocate or explore other options for your care.

You are not alone in this. Your reactions are a normal response to a difficult situation, and you deserve to be treated with compassion and respect. Thank you for this question.