It wasn’t how they told me it would be: No rope tying down my feet, No handcuffs on my wrists, No locked doors or scary passageways, Free to leave, as far as you can see But the door felt miles away And leaving felt like betrayal Begging was manipulation in disguise And I felt like a child, once again so little It wasn’t how they told me it would be: No gag in my mouth, Or hand keeping it shut, Nothing drowning out my voice, Or threatening me not to open up, Free to speak up, as far as you can see But my words didn’t matter And my repetition went unheard My words could not stop time And I did all but scream that word It wasn’t how they told me it would be: There was no dark alley lit by the moon, No midnight howls, sun gone too soon, No abandoned bunker; With just dirt for miles, Free to walk away, as far as you can see But daylight did not bring safety And neither did the public eye Suspicion doesn’t stop people, From walking right on by While my car may have been, but a yard away It was farther than the sun from earth Too far for me that day It wasn’t how they told me it would be: There was no monster, No man in a mask, No gang, no criminals, Or 60 year old man, ready to attack It wasn’t my enemy or a menace, or a junkie with no sense, Mr. Evil wouldn’t hurt me, as far as you can see But our friendship didn’t make it stop Rather he laughed with glee Happier and happier, He truly never thought about me Desperate and needy, Despite knowing me for years, He did not think twice He wanted what he wanted, And I guess to him “no” meant that it was alright.

The story you hear on every news channel, app, and article: a girl vs. the system (who would want to face a trial?)

Unfortunately, I am here again. History has repeated. This time it was different, but you can read to see that. I pray your story is only a single tale. No means no and I think past it's time people heard it. It was exactly how they told me it would be: A hand squeezing my throat, A body crushing mine, Shoving my head down, I just needed some time, I couldn’t get up or run out the door, Couldn’t even scream out, But now i will wage war, But it wasn’t bad enough, Or so they say, No kit, no proof, No dna, Weeks later doesn’t count, Not by a mile, I couldn’t fool a drunk, not with this smile, It was exactly how they told me it would be: The begging, the pleading, the “white” lies, One tale after another, but i didn’t know why, Flag after flag, but I didn’t call it, “Just trust me baby”, At least I tried to stall it, But it wasn’t bad enough, Or so they say, I led him on, it was my room, How could it have gone any other way? No one would know, but my story’s the real one, My cries are not empty, This wolf is a fierce one, It was exactly how they told me it would be: My no did not count, and my choices were made for me, Repetition after repetition, I swear you should’ve heard me, I thought people were decent, “Humble and kind” But life threw me a curveball, Why is it always mine? But it wasn’t bad enough, Or so they say, Messages prove nothing, Pictures just get in the way, Even a doctors note, Can’t deny my consent, My voice means nothing, Even from a trial bench, It was exactly how they told me it would be: ‘We want you to know, Other reports have been filed” “You’re not the only girl” Not the only one defiled, A moment, just a moment, Has changed my life, Forever and after, I hope the other girls are doing alright, But it wasn’t bad enough, Or so they say, “It’s up to you sweetheart, But it probably won’t go your way”, Relive and relive, I’m losing my purpose, I don’t understand, How could everyone just accept this? In the end I won’t, Because it wasn’t alright An apology will not change, Every sleepless night, I am human, I am real, I pray you can see me, Please, all I’m asking is that you believe me