ALL THROUGHOUT MY LIFE I HAVE SUFFERED MULTIPLE EVENTS OF SEXUAL MOLESTATION AND ASSAULT THE FIRST ONE STARTING AT THE AGE OF 8 WHEN A FAMILY FRIEND MOLESTED ME HE ENDED UP BEING CHARGED AND SENTENCED TO 10 YEARS BUT MY STORY DIDNT STOP THERE AS I GOT INTO MY TEENS GROWING UP IN A HOME WITH A NARRCISISTIC MOTHER I WAS OFTEN BELITTLED AND EMOTIONALLY PUT DOWN. THE EFFECTS OF MY SEXUAL ABUSE AS A CHILD AND THE UNWAVERING EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION I RECIEVED FROM MY MOM MADE ME AN EASY TARGET FOR PREDATORS THROUGHOUT MY TEENAGE YEARS, AT THE AGE OF 15 I GOT THE NEWS I WAS PREGNANT BY A 28 YEAR OLD MAN ALL THE WHILE MY MOTHER NEVER DETESTED THE RELATIONSHIP. HE OF COURSE DID NOT STICK AROUND AFTER THE NEWS. I CONTINUED TO LIVE WITH MY MOM AND IN THE MIDST OF HER NEW HOME REMODEL I WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY THE MAN DOING THE RENOVATIONS AND MY CRIES TO MY MOM WERE IGNORED IN FEAR OF HER HOME NOT BEING COMPLETED. I LEFT HOME IN AN ATTEMPT TO PROVIDE FOR MY DAUGHTER. WITH MY MOTHER NEVER BEING HOME IT WAS HARD TO GET THE THINGS MY BABY NEEDED TO SURVIVE. THE HOME I WAS LIVING IN WAS NOT SUITIBLE WITH NO HEAT MY DAUGHTER GOT SICK. AFTER SPENDING 2 WEEKS IN THE HOSPITAL SHE WENT HOME WITH MY MOM AND TAKEN OUT OF MY CUSTODY. AT THE AGE OF 16 I MOVED IN WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHO WAS 23 YEARS OLD AND HAD MY SON. OVER THE NEXT 5 YEARS I WAS PHYSICALLY ABUSED ALL WHILE SUFFERING THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING MY DAUGHTER WITH EVERY VISITATION BEING A TRANSACTION OF MY MOMS EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND CONTROL TACTICS USING MY DAUGHTER TO KEEP ME WITHIN HER GRASP. I WAS PUUT ON CHILD SUPPORT AT THE AGE OF 17 BY MY MOM CRIPPLING ME FINANCIALLY BUT STILL I PUSHED FORWARD. I EVENTUALLY DID GET MY DAUGHTER BACK BUT CONTINUED TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COURT SYSTEM OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER MY FIGHT WASTO SURVIVE AND HAVE MY KIDS CLOSE TO ME. OVER THE YEARS I STRUGGLED WITH ADDICTION WHICH STARTED AT THE HANDS OF MY DAUGHTERS FATHER WHO FIRST GAVE ME METH AT THE TENDER AGE OF 14. THIS CYCLE OF GETTING CLEAN AND RELAPSING WENT ON UNTIL I WAS 25 YEARS OLD. WITH EACH ATTEMPT TO ACCOMPLISH HAVING MY KIDS MY HOPE WAS DEMINISHED BY THE VERY PEOPLE WHO USED AND ABUSED ME. EVEN THOUGHT THE ODDS WERE AGAINST ME I EVENTUALLY PREVAILED AND GOT MY KIDS. EVEN THOUGH I LOST THEM AND SO MANY MEMORIES AS WELL OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER NEVER WEAKENED. MY DAUGHTER IS NOW 18 AND MY SON IS 15 AND THEIR LOVE FOR MY IS NEVER ENDING. I STILL STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH AND BEING SUCCESSFUL DUE TO THE CONSTANT HARRASMENT I RECIEVE AS IF A TARGET WAS PUT ON MY BACK FOR PERPETRATORS. MY ABUSE AND LACK OF KNOWLEDGE HAS LED ME TO BE MANIPULATED ON EVERY LEVEL OF LIFE WITH MY RECENTLY BOUGHT HOME BEING A COMPLETE LEMON I TRUGGLE TO FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS UNLIVABLE HOME. I HAVE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY TO BUILD MY RELATIONSHIP MORE WITH GOD WHILE WRITING A BOOK OF MY LIFE WHICH IVE SLOWLY POSTED EPISODE BY EPISODE ON AMAZON. I HAVE THE LOVE OF MY KIDS AND THOUGH I MAY HAVE FAILED ON MANY LEVELS MY DAUGHTER IS ON HER WAY TO BETTER THINGS AND MY SON IS RIGHT BEHIND HER. THEY LOVE ME DEARLY AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL. I HAVE FAITH THAT GOD WILL GET ME THROUGH HE GOT ME THIS FAR SO I CONTINUE TO FIGHT!!!!!!