This is not my first SA story but this is the one that caused me to remember… Growing up I had these weird dreams of a close family member of mine, they’re two years older than me but the dreams that I had of us we were kids. These dreams felt like out of body experiences, it was like I was floating above my younger self, maybe I was 3, 4, or even 5 years old. I was laying down in my parents bed crying with my legs opened up while my family member was touching my private areas. I remember waking up hurt or crying but always thought of them as dreams until a couple years ago… at the age of 18 that same close family friend of mine was trying to grab my chest while I slept and I had no idea of it. I had woken up in the middle of it scared and shocked at what was happening but I didn’t move a muscle. My eyes still shut like I was asleep. (Mind you I was laying on my stomach but what he was doing was putting his hand in the gap between my armpit to slide his hand over my boob to grab my nipple.) When he finally grabbed it I snapped out of it. He was in complete shock (shocking) that I had got up and asked what the heck he was doing. He then started to cry saying he was sorry and that he didn’t know what had come over him to do that. I just sat there with no emotion and no recollection of everything he was saying besides the “I’m sorries.”, “I’m horrible.”, “I don’t know why I did it.”, rambles. I just remember him going on and on but then he started to apologize for doing more stuff to me. Then I started to listen. He had started to apologize for the first time he SA me as a little girl. He went into detail of everything he had done to me and it was almost as close to the dream I had but more. He then apologized for two more incidents of when he would grab my chest both when I was 16 while I slept. I still have no recollection of those days besides the dreams I guess that was a way for my mind to tell me it happened but it blocked it out. Everything he told me I could not remember there’s even more stories of some other family members that I’ve dreamt doing stuff to me but now I’m to scared to even approach it. I’m no longer sure if they are reality or dreams. My innocence was taken and I don’t even remember it. Now I just have to live with these nightmares that came true and the pain in my heart. Now this story will forever be here but lost with the rest.