Understanding Trauma & Violence


Was it Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA) if we were the same age (11) and I only said yes after being asked repeatedly because I felt bad for rejecting them?


Thank you for asking this. If you feel that you were coerced into doing something you did not want to do, your feelings of distress and concern are entirely warranted.

In terms of the person's age at the time of the incident, it's essential to recognize that age does not absolve someone of responsibility for their actions, particularly when it involves harming another individual. Regardless of their age, engaging in sexual coersive behavior is never acceptable. 

What you choose to label your experience as is up to you. To learn more about abuse that can occur between children, see three related questions we have answered previously below.

1. Q & A ~ Child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA): Can a victim be older than their perpetrator? ~ Our Wave Stories

2. Question | I experienced abuse by a family member as a child. He is five years older than me. It was clearly abusive in many ways: it was forceful, manipulative, and there was a power imbalance. I can’t judge him too hard because he might have been too young to be held responsible.  | Our Wave Dashboard

3. Q & A ~ In cases of child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA), is it okay/normal to continue to be friends with the other child and have it be water under the bridge? ~ Our Wave Stories

What you choose to do with this information is also up to you. Whatever you decide, or however you choose to identify, prioritize your own well-being and remember that you deserve support, validation, and healing. You are not alone. 

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