Question

When I was about 4 years old my 9 year old sister started forcing me to kiss her on the mouth, I never wanted to do it but she forced me to, does it count as abuse? Or am I just being dramatic?

Answer

Thank you so much for this question. You are not being dramatic. First and foremost, it’s important to remember that only you can define what happened to you. Sexual violence is deeply personal, and how you understand and process your experiences is entirely up to you. While we aim to provide support and information, please know that we are not here to label or define your experience. Your experience is yours and yours alone.

If you are asking this question in the legal sense, definitions of childhood sexual abuse vary by state and country. Childhood sexual abuse is generally defined as any sexual activity with a child where consent is not or cannot be given. Some legal definitions of sexual abuse specify that the perpetrator must be an adult, but instances of sexual behavior between children can still be harmful, particularly when a child uses force, coercion, or manipulation against another child. 

We recognize that the laws in your jurisdiction may or may not reflect your personal experience. Legal definitions can be narrow and sometimes fail to encompass the full range of emotions, reactions, and realities of those who have experienced sexual violence. While understanding the legal framework can be an important part of the healing process for some, it’s okay if your experience doesn’t fit neatly into these legal boxes.This discrepancy doesn’t invalidate what you’ve been through. Your emotions and reactions are valid, regardless of whether they align with the legal definitions of sexual violence.

Our website aims to provide a space where you can learn more about the experiences of others who have faced similar situations. By sharing stories and information, we hope to create a community that supports and uplifts its members. However, it’s crucial to understand that while these stories can provide comfort and solidarity, they cannot confirm or decide if you are a survivor, or what specific kind of abuse you have experienced. Every individual’s story is unique, and while there may be similarities, your journey is your own. Take from these shared experiences what helps you, and feel free to leave what does not.

The path to healing is different for everyone. If you are experiencing distress  reflecting on events that happened to you as a child, you deserve validation and support. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Finding a counselor, therapist, or psychologist with expertise in childhood sexual abuse can help you with your processsing as you plan next steps to support your healing moving forward. 

This is your journey, and you have the right to navigate it in the way that feels right for you. We’re here to provide information, support, and a platform for your voice. But the path you take, the decisions you make, and the definitions you choose are yours alone. You are not alone. Thank you again for trusting us with this question.