Does it count as child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) if the sexual abuse was by someone familiar to me who was around a year older than me?

Thank you for this question! To learn more about the intricacies surrounding age gaps and childhood sexual abuse, follow this link to a previous response we provided for another survivor processing a similar situation: https://stories.ourwave.org/en/answer/child-on-child-sexual-abuse-cocsa-can-a-victim-be-older-than-their-perpetrator-80

No matter how you choose to identify. You do not deserve the abuse you experienced. You are not alone.

When I was 8, my 9-year-old cousin convinced me that certain sexually inappropriate behaviors were normal between girls. I don't have many memories of the incidents, but I remember some parts clearly. Months later, she tried to get me to engage in these behaviors with our younger cousin, who was 4 or 5 at the time. Thankfully, our parents found out before anything more serious happened. Most of the family made jokes about the situation, but one aunt kindly explained to me why it was wrong and that children should never touch each other in those ways. The older cousin seems to be doing alright now, but I'm not entirely sure. The younger cousin appears normal on the outside, but she has been pressured to date and refuses. I don't know if this is related to what happened. I hope all three of us can heal from this experience, but I feel incredibly guilty. I keep worrying about what might have happened if our parents hadn't intervened or if something worse occurred that I can't remember. Am I both a victim and a perpetrator in this situation?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Understanding Trauma & Violence