Question

When I was around 6-7 years old, another child of a similar age repeatedly pressured, emotionally manipulated, and guilt-tripped me into engaging in oral sex. Despite me saying no numerous times, he continued to pressure me until I eventually complied. Does this count as child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA)?

Answer

Thank you for this question and I am so sorry you experienced this. Based on the information you've shared, it sounds like what you experienced could be child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA). The repeated pressure, emotional manipulation, and guilt-tripping to engage in sexual acts, even though you both were young, is concerning and may constitute abusive behavior. Your repeated refusals should have been respected, and the fact that the other child continued to coerce you until you complied suggests a violation of your boundaries and autonomy.

It's essential to understand that consent is a crucial aspect of any sexual interaction, and children at such a young age cannot provide informed consent. If the other child's actions made you feel uncomfortable, pressured, or violated, your feelings are valid, and you are not to blame for what happened.

COCSA can have lasting effects on survivors, similar to those experienced by survivors of adult-perpetrated sexual abuse. It's common to feel confusion, guilt, or shame, but it's crucial to remember that you were a child who was manipulated and coerced into a situation you did not want to be in.

It's important to recognize that only you can define your experiences and how they have impacted you. Everyone processes and understands their trauma differently, and there is no right or wrong way to feel about what happened to you. Trust your own perceptions and emotions, and don't let anyone minimize or invalidate your experiences.

If you feel that you need support in processing these experiences, seeking help from a therapist who specializes in childhood sexual abuse can be incredibly beneficial. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, work through the trauma, and develop coping strategies.

Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources and support systems available to help you on your healing journey. Your experiences are valid, and your feelings matter. Be gentle with yourself and know that healing is possible. 

We appreciate you reaching out and are here for you.