Question

I was sexually assaulted, and although my attacker was found guilty in court, I was never allowed to see his face. This has left me constantly afraid of most men. Is there any way for me to find out what he looks like so I can begin to heal?

Answer

Wow. This is so tough. I'm so sorry that you had to endure the trauma of sexual assault and then face the added pain of not being allowed to see your attacker's face in court. It's completely understandable that this experience has left you feeling afraid and anxious around men, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid.

The decision to conceal your attacker's face may have been made to protect his privacy or due to legal considerations, but it's important to recognize the impact this has had on your ability to heal and move forward. Not being able to put a face to the person who caused you so much harm can make it feel like the threat is everywhere, and that's an incredibly heavy burden to carry.

While I can't give you specific legal advice, I encourage you to reach out to the prosecutor's office or the victim advocate who worked on your case. They may be able to provide you with more information about why your attacker's face was concealed and whether there are any legal avenues for you to obtain that information. It's also possible that they can connect you with additional support services or resources to help you process your trauma and begin to heal.

It's important to remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of seeking support if you are open to it and not going through this all on your own. Working with a trained professional can provide you with individualized tools and strategies to manage your fear and anxiety, and can help you work through the complex emotions you may be experiencing. You may also find it helpful to connect with other survivors who have gone through similar experiences.

Please know that your fear and anxiety are understandable, but they do not have to control your life forever. With time, support, and self-compassion, you can begin to rebuild your sense of safety and trust in the world around you. Thank you so much for reaching out to us. You are not alone.