Question

When I was about eight, these two boys held me down on the playground. I think it was only one of them kissing me. Everyone kind of gathered around in a circle and laughed and egged him on. Does this count as assault? It makes me feel ill to think of years later.

Answer

Thank you for trusting us with this. Wow...that situation sounds deeply distressing. While I can't definitively label your experience for you, what you've described could certainly be considered a form of assault. Only you have the right to define and label your own experiences,  but I want to validate that what happened to you was not okay.

Your feelings of illness when recalling this event are a completely understandable response. What happened to you was wrong and not your fault. At eight years old, you were in a vulnerable position, too young to give consent, and being held down against your will while someone kissed you is a violation of your bodily autonomy and personal boundaries. The presence of onlookers who encouraged this behavior adds another layer of distress to the experience.

It's common for the full impact of such incidents to be realized years later, as we gain a better understanding of past events. Whatever emotions you're experiencing about this incident - be it discomfort, anger, sadness, or anything else - are entirely valid. There's no "right" way to feel about such experiences, and it's normal for feelings to change or intensify over time. Your emotions, whatever they may be, are a valid part of processing what happened to you.

If these memories are causing you distress, please know that support is available. Speaking with a mental health professional who specializes in childhood experiences can be incredibly helpful. They can provide you with support and strategies to process your feelings and experiences in a way that feels right for you. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength. You deserve to heal and find peace, and there are people ready to support you on that journey, whatever that may look like for you. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone.