You are loved. It is not your fault and I believe you.
I was sexually assaulted at work in 2018. Then in 2020 it happened again but with stalking and threats. Every time I reported I was demonized and retaliated against. The second harassment and subsequent legal route I took resulted in me having a nervous breakdown and becoming agoraphobic and unable to drive my car reliably amongst many other "unables", not to mention damaging my relationship with my partner who has been with me every step of the way. This stress I was undergoing juxtaposed against my family's inability to support me (due to their own mental health problems/ dysfunctional nature and generational trauma that they had passed to me) brought up old childhood traumas that I was not ready to handle. This all is said to you while I am sitting on the toilet for the 10th time today, a side affects of the GERD and IBS that I was gifted with due to this toxic stress I am saddled with. To this day I am still struggling to become employed as well as struggling to reduce my self harm and suicidal thoughts that have increased since the start.