Whispers to War Cries: Finding my Voice after 26 years. I am a survivor of CSA Incestual Abuse. This was a secret I held in my heart, and no one knew except God and I. Forgive me if not everyone believes in God, but this is the only way to express my story. So at the age of 3 I was a go lucky happy toddler, until my older brother stripped me of my innocence. 7 years of my life were a blur and then around age 10 i began to remember the daily abuse and it happened until I was 15 years old and he was 23 years old. I was extremely attached to my brother not truly knowing that this bond came from years of abuse. I remember having flashbacks of having sexual memories of my brother, but then bringing myself back to reality to say hey this is my brother that's nasty. As years passed once I was 18 I would fall into a life of addiction, from alchol to drug addiction and being sexually violated throughout my adult years. My brother doesn't know I am aware that he abused me as a child, and this was all brought back to my recollection because of a spiritual encounter I had with God. God used my stepfather who may I state was not in my life at the time of the abuse, to reveal this to me. My stepfather asked me what happened to me as a child, and I froze and instantly mentioned my brother's name. 26 years of a hidden secret came to light, and while I was relieved my heart was shattered. I loved my brother dearly and to know he was the cause of my hidden trauma was even more heartbreaking. Intrafamilial abuse was on both sides of my maternal families so the apple didn't fall too far from the tree when it came to my brother. I remember instances of me calling 911 as a child, but I got scared and hung up they ended up coming and I firmly believe I was trying to tell on my brother but once my mom asked if I called the cops I got scared. I even remember slapping him in his face when I was about 12 years old, and the way he reacted was as if he was expecting it to come. I am here to say that YOU ARE NOT ALONE WE CAN OVERCOME!!!