At first I did the usual stuff from the books after the trauma, I thought it must have been my fault, I was the drunk one, I let him help me and my friend go home. I'm the one who misinterpreted his true nature and thought he would be a good guy, with simple intent. But after a few weeks of recovery and many showers, I truly accepted the fact that I was raped. Which is a daunting realisation because everything changes then, as many would know. I didnt want to be defined by being a rape survivor, or a an abused girl who got too drunk. I now know, none of it was my fault, I am not responsible for the actions of him and it DEFINITELY doesn't define me. I first accepted it when I told my best friend, the first time I've ever told anyone about any of my traumas in the past. She validated me and asked what I wanted to do about, in the best way possible she soothed me and shared her stories as well. I just wish everyone had or has a friend like her, who tells you what you need to here. I still fear the idea of telling a future partner and it haunts me in current situationships, but each time I get braver and braver and more confident in myself and I have come a long way, so I guess the point of this was to get off my chest what I havent told to many, and to let myself know that even a small anonymous post is still progress and I'm doing well. Thank u x