Question

I think I have been sexually assaulted by an ex-friend. Is it sexual assault if you aren't penetrated? She groped me and jabbed at my a**, but I didn't think it was important because we are both female.

Answer

Thank you so much for this question. Sexual assault can take many forms, and each survivor's experience is unique and deserving of acknowledgment and support. What you experienced from your ex-friend could certainly "count" as sexual assault, even without penetration occurring. Any form of sexual contact or behavior without your explicit consent can be harmful and considered assault. To see a similar question we have answered in the past of this nature, click here: Q & A ~ Was I still sexually assaulted if I wasn’t raped, but was touched sexually without my consent? ~ Our Wave Stories

The fact that you are both female does not make the groping, unwanted touching, or any other sexual acts acceptable without your permission. Sexual assault can occur regardless of the gender of the perpetrator or person who experienced harm.

It's understandable that you may have doubts or minimized the incident, as there are many societal myths around what "counts" as assault. Please resist blaming yourself or thinking your experience is unimportant. Unwanted sexual contact, no matter the situation or genders involved, can have a lasting impact.

I would encourage you to reach out to a sexual assault service provider or hotline to discuss what happened, process your feelings, and get the support you deserve as a survivor. You are not alone, and this was not your fault. We are here for you every step of the way. Thank you for reaching out to us.