Question

How do I recover from my rapist getting his charges expunged?

Answer

Recovering from the expungement of charges against your rapist can be a difficult and painful process. First, we want to acknowledge and validate whatever feelings you may be having at this time. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions when you are processing something as difficult as you are experiencing, including anger, betrayal, and despair. What happened to you was not fair.

First, remember your safety is a priority. If you are worried about being further harassed or harmed by the person who violated you, you may want to create a safety plan that you can share with your loved ones. To make one online, follow this link: Create a Safety Plan | The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org). 

You may also consider seeking support in general from loved ones, friends, or a support group for survivors of sexual assault. Talking about your feelings with others who understand what you are going through can be helpful. You may also consider seeking professional help if these feelings get too intense, to help manage these challenging emotions. 

Above all, make sure that you take care of yourself. This may include things like eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that you enjoy. It may also include seeking out resources, such as legal assistance, to help you understand your rights and options.

Finally, since so much of this is out of your control, one thing you can do is focus on your own healing and recovery, seperate from the lack of justice you experienced. It's important to remember that the expungement of charges does not change what happened to you and it is not a reflection of your worth or the validity of your experience.

Healing is a process and it takes time. It's important to be patient with yourself and to not put pressure on yourself to "get over" what happened. We are here for you. You are not alone.