I was 8 when my brother put his hand up my shirt. He touched my chest. My babysitter and neighbor were in the house as well. I ran to my mom's room crying as I heard by neighbor and brother laughing. I felt so ashamed and hurt. I eventually fell asleep crying. At the time, I knew it was wrong. I didn't understand what to do or what to say. I waited until my dad came home from work in the evening. I told him what happened and he got mad at my brother. But the thing is, I feel like his reaction wasn't big enough. I feel like the situation had been minimized. My brother also apologized and said it "was a joke". I was 9 and 10 when I started sleeping in his room. It was 5th grade and we slept together in separate beds. He had a crush on my friend, who was 9. He was at least 14 years old. He used to hit me and get mad at me if I didn't let him read the texts between my friend and I. I told my parents and they were upset. He also woke me up and asked if he could lick my boobs. I wasn't fully developed so it made me feel insecure. I was tired and told him no but he didn't listen. I still imagine him on top of me. I still imagine his face when he likes what he sees. I knew it wasn't right and I still let it happen. I blame myself sometimes even though it wasn't my fault. I was too young to be in a sexual situation and its even worse that my brother put me there. I remember telling my mom what he did and she also minimized the situation as if I was joking. There were other situations were he would yell at me nonstop to clean the house or to listen to him. I hated when my parents left the house. I would be so scared. He used to blame my emotions on my period and would tell me to wear a bra or else my boobs would sag. He is the only sibling I have and I wish I had a sister or someone else to rely on. Growing up, learning about freedom, I wasn't able to go outside because I was a girl. I couldn't walk home or play outside because it wasn't safe. My dad helped me realize that there were people in life who could hurt you or take advantage of you. My dad tried to protect me from rapists and abusers but little did he know that the one who had hurt me the most was my own blood. My brother was the one who had abused me. I think that the situation was minimized in my family that it became normal at some point. I didn't realize that what he did was sexual abuse until I was about 15 years old. I hate myself for being to blindsided. I am still learning to heal and grow as a woman. I am not a victim of child sexual abuse. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. I am a warrior who fought against it.