My adoptive sister who was much older than me abused me. She abused me when I was a toddler on. I did not remember this and disassociated for a long time until I met my birth mother and memories came flooding in. She used to make me touch her sexually, I was a tiny child. As I got older she would stonewall and give silent treatment when I did not want to interact with her. She would leave sexually explicit things for me to find. She would expose me to violent and explicit music from a young age and drive in dangerous ways with me in the car. She would humiliate me verbally in front of guys that she knew I was interested in as well as ex boyfriends, this began very early on as well. When I got on my feet and found empowerment in education and community she would follow me, copy me, befriend people my age, and even show up at places I was at. One of the later triggering things about her abuse is that her children have both been treated like I was, being exposed to explicit things very young, sleeping with her, and also being bullies. They’re only kids and they make fun of disabled people, make fun of me, and it’s all a reiteration of wondering if I will ever escape the trauma of her abuse.