At my first school after COVID in seventh grade, I noticed something that made me uncomfortable. On the first day, a teacher massaged a student's shoulders while asking about his summer, though he hadn't mentioned any pain. This seemed weird to me as a new student. I've since remembered that this teacher was often physical with students, though not in sexual ways. What might this behavior mean, and how should I understand what I observed?

Answer

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this experience. It's completely understandable that witnessing your teacher give a shoulder massage to a student made you feel uncomfortable, especially since you were new to the school and didn't know anyone well yet. When we're in unfamiliar environments, unexpected behaviors can stand out and leave us feeling uncertain or uneasy.

Physical interactions between teachers and students exist on a spectrum and can vary depending on the school's culture and the individual teacher's style. Some educators might use physical gestures like a pat on the back or a high-five to build rapport with students, while others maintain more physical distance. Cultural and personal backgrounds can influence what feels normal or appropriate. However, it's important for all adults working with young people to maintain professional boundaries to ensure that all students feel safe and respected in the classroom.

The fact that this teacher has been more physical with students in the past, even if not in a sexual way, could still be concerning if it makes you or other students feel uncomfortable. Your feelings and observations are valid, and it's okay to question behaviors that don't seem appropriate to you. Trust your instincts when something doesn't feel right.

Schools should have clear policies about appropriate touch between teachers and students. These policies exist to protect both students and teachers by establishing consistent expectations. If this behavior continues or if you notice other instances that make you or other students feel uneasy, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult about your concerns. This could be a parent, guardian, school counselor, or another teacher you feel comfortable with. They can provide support, help you process your feelings, and take any necessary steps to address the situation.

Remember, you have the right to feel safe and comfortable at school. It's important for educators to create an environment where all students can learn without feeling uneasy about their interactions with teachers. Your willingness to reflect on this experience shows maturity, and noticing and questioning potentially inappropriate behavior is not wrong or disloyal—it's an important way we collectively maintain safe environments for everyone. Whatever you decide to do with this information, your feelings and observations matter. Thank you for trusting us with this.