Are there certified therapists who specialize in helping survivors of grooming and sexual abuse/violence? I've been trying to find someone who can help me make sense of my trauma from experiences that happened when I was a preteen/teen. I also need help understanding my own role in what happened. The whole thing feels painful and complex, and I'm honestly scared of what I might learn beyond what I already know.

Answer

Thank you for reaching out to us and I am so sorry you are experiencing so much complexity and pain. You do not deserve to feel this way. Yes, there are absolutely therapists who specialize in working with survivors of sexual violence and grooming. Many therapists have specialized training in trauma-informed care and specific certifications that have been shown to be helpful with survivors of trauma and abuse (e.g. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), or Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)).

Your concern about understanding your "role" in what happened is something many survivors grapple with. It's important to know that children and teens cannot consent to sexual activity with adults, and grooming specifically involves manipulation tactics that deliberately create confusion about boundaries and responsibility. The feelings of complicity or shame that often arise are normal responses to trauma, not reflections of actual responsibility.

The fear you're expressing about what you might learn in therapy is completely understandable. Facing trauma can feel overwhelming, but trauma-informed therapists are trained to move at your pace and provide support throughout the process. They won't force you to discuss anything before you're ready.

It takes tremendous courage to seek help when dealing with painful and complex experiences from your past. The confusion and fear that accompany such experiences are natural reactions, and a compassionate therapist will create a safe, supportive environment where you can explore these feelings without judgment. Remember that healing from trauma happens at your own pace, and a good therapist will respect your boundaries while gently guiding you through the process.

To find a specialized therapist, you have several resources available. The American Psychological Association (APA) offers a Psychologist Locator where you can search for professionals in your area. Psychology Today's therapist finder also allows you to filter for trauma specialists. The RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE) can connect you to local resources, and many sexual assault support centers offer therapy services or can provide referrals to qualified professionals.

When contacting potential therapists, it's completely appropriate to ask about their experience with cases similar to yours and how they approach therapy for trauma survivors. This conversation can help you determine if they're the right fit for your needs.

Remember that finding the right therapist might take time, and it's okay to meet with several before deciding who feels like the best fit for you. Be gentle with yourself through this process—seeking help is already a significant step toward healing, and you deserve support that honors your experiences and helps you find a path toward understanding and peace. Thank you for reaching out to us with this. You are not alone.