Question

I've been in therapy for two years processing sexual trauma. Recently, I've started experiencing physical arousal when thinking about or processing the assault. This is particularly distressing since I'm gay and the assault was by someone of the opposite sex. Are these physical responses normal during trauma processing?

Answer

Thank you for asking this. Physical arousal during trauma processing is a common and normal physiological response that many survivors experience, though it can feel deeply confusing and distressing. Our bodies can react to traumatic memories in complex ways, even when the experiences are painful or go against our sexual orientation. These responses occur because our nervous system remembers and can react to any type of touch or sexual content, whether wanted or unwanted.

During trauma processing, our bodies may recreate sensations from the traumatic experience as part of memory processing. This can include physical arousal, muscle tension, rapid heartbeat, or other physical sensations. These reactions happen in our autonomic nervous system - the same system that controls our heartbeat and breathing - making them outside our conscious control. It's similar to how our body might respond to watching an intense scene in a movie, even when we know it isn't real.

The fact that these reactions are emerging now, two years into therapy, might actually be a sign that you're processing deeper layers of the trauma. Many survivors initially experience emotional numbness or disconnection from physical sensations as a protective mechanism. As healing progresses, our bodies might begin to process these stored sensations and memories. This can be particularly confusing when the physical responses seem to conflict with our sexual orientation or identity, but these automatic responses don't define your sexuality or diminish the reality of your trauma.

I wouls speak to your therapist about these sensations and feelings. They can help you understand these reactions as normal parts of the healing process and develop ways to feel safer in your body when they occur. Remember: Your body's involuntary responses don't reflect consent or enjoyment of the assault, nor do they invalidate your sexual identity. They're simply part of your nervous system processing the experience. Thank you so much for asking this. You are not alone.