Is there really any way to avoid being catcalled or harassed in public? I feel like there's nothing to do except hope it doesn't happen.

Answer

Ugh...thank you for asking this. You're right that there is unfortunately no guaranteed way to completely avoid catcalling or harassment in public. The responsibility for this behavior lies solely with the harassers, not with those being harassed. While there are some steps one can take to potentially reduce risk, it's deeply unfair and frustrating that anyone should have to modify their behavior to avoid harassment.

I want to acknowledge the injustice of this situation you bring up. No one should have to alter their routes, change their clothing, or constantly be on guard simply to exist in public spaces without being harassed. The burden of preventing harassment should fall on potential harassers and society at large, not on individuals just trying to go about their daily lives. This unfair reality can lead to feelings of anger, helplessness, and restricted freedom, which are all valid responses to an unjust situation.

Despite this, some people find it helpful to be aware of certain strategies. These might include:

Being aware of your surroundings and trusting your instincts.
Projecting confidence through body language when possible.
Traveling with friends when you can, especially in areas or at times you feel less safe.
Considering using headphones to block out unwanted comments (but remain aware of your environment).
Having a plan for how you'll respond if it happens.
Avoiding engaging with harassers if you feel unsafe.
Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals if experiences are affecting you.

That said, it's important to emphasize:

None of these guarantee prevention
It's never the victim's fault
You're not responsible for others' inappropriate behavior
Your clothing or appearance doesn't justify harassment
Not using these strategies is never an invitation for harassment.

Ultimately, addressing this issue requires significant societal change and education. The focus needs to shift from teaching potential victims how to avoid harassment to teaching potential harassers about respect, consent, and the harm their actions cause. Many organizations (for example Stop Street Harassment ) are working towards creating safer public spaces and challenging the attitudes that lead to street harassment.

If you're struggling with the impact of these experiences, it's completely understandable. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or professionals. Remember, your feelings are valid, and you absolutely deserve to feel safe and respected in public spaces, without having to change who you are or how you behave. Thank you for asking this.