Question

Growing up my father used to run his hand up my thighs and touch me. I’ve told people about it and they have all said “your fine your just being dramatic” or “it wasn’t his fault. Your father just doesn’t understand boundaries. Get over it”. Are they right am I just being dramatic?

Answer

Thank you so much for reaching out to us about this. What you are describing is a serious violation of trust and safety and could certainly be considered sexual abuse. When a parent touches a child's body in ways that feel sexual or uncomfortable, that's never acceptable behavior. Parents absolutely understand appropriate and inappropriate ways to touch their children - this does not sound like a simple boundary misunderstanding.

The responses you've received minimizing what happened are, sadly, common when people disclose family abuse. This kind of dismissal can make you question your own experiences and feelings, but please know that your discomfort and pain are valid. Someone telling you to "get over it" or that you're "being dramatic" says more about their inability to face difficult truths than it does about your experience.

Your instincts about this being wrong are correct. If something feels violating, it's valid to trust that feeling. You deserve to be believed and supported, not dismissed or told to minimize your own experiences.

Consider reaching out to professionals who specialize in childhood trauma or an online hotline for additional opportunities to process these experiences. They can help validate your experiences, provide tools for healing, and can connect you with local resources who understand family abuse dynamics and won't dismiss what happened to you.

You do not deserve what you experienced and your discomfort matters. Thank you for reaching out to us. You are not alone.